I am so excited to be here tonight at<br>the Bill Graham Civic Auditorium in San<br>Francisco with the one and only Emma<br>Greed.<br>Emma, I could just keep saying your<br>name. It's just like you are. First of<br>all, I want to say you're one of my dear<br>friends. I adore you. I love you. I<br>think you're incredible.<br>>> Oh, thank you, D.<br>>> And the fact that you came out here to<br>do this means the absolute world to me.<br>And you heard the excitement and the<br>energy in the room and<br>Yeah,<br>>> honestly, Jay, until about 3 hours ago,<br>I thought it was 800 people that were<br>here tonight. So, I'm in a little bit of<br>shock to be totally honest. I'm like,<br>what?<br>>> I love it. It's definitely like<br>thousands and thousands of people.<br>>> I want to start with something that<br>we've been talking about this evening.<br>And it's interesting because you were<br>actually talking about it in the clip<br>that we had from the show when you were<br>on the podcast.<br>We find that we spend so much of our<br>times worrying about what people think<br>of us. We are constantly our worst<br>critics in our mind. We're thinking,<br>"Oh, does this person think I'm this,<br>think I'm that?" I want you to take us<br>to a time when that was in your head.<br>And what were the kind of things you<br>worried about that people thought of<br>you? And what did you do about it?<br>>> Well, you know, I think like so many of<br>us, I spent my entire life worried about<br>that. And I'd be lying if I said there<br>weren't parts of me that still feel like<br>that now. But I honestly got to a<br>certain point in my life where I<br>thought, well, if not you, then who,<br>right? And I really feel like so much of<br>my life has been about trying to prove<br>something. And you get to the point<br>where you're like, I don't really have<br>anything to prove anymore. I wake up<br>every single day and make a decision to<br>do my very best. And who am I doing my<br>best for? Well, for me, right? I have to<br>meet my own expectations. I have to get<br>to the point where I can lay my head<br>back down on that pillow at night and<br>feel really really good. And I've just<br>got to the point where I feel like that<br>is real for me. But you know, in my<br>teens, in my 20s, like you you don't<br>feel that way. That's just not your<br>reality. And you spend a lot of time<br>worried about what other people think.<br>>> Yeah. And you get stuck like we get so<br>stifled by it. We get so restricted by<br>it. Do you remember ever like missing<br>out on an opportunity or not doing<br>something because you were so worried?<br>>> I mean, I have lists of things like that<br>because you imagine that everybody is<br>watching you like you're watching you.<br>And I think that there were times in my<br>life where I didn't speak up. There were<br>times in my life where I didn't put<br>myself forward. There were times in my<br>life where I just not only kept quiet,<br>but I kept out of the conversation,<br>right? Like not not even in it. Not<br>really even putting myself out there.<br>And so, um, yeah, I feel like that was<br>my reality for a very, very long time.<br>And I also think that there's part of<br>being, uh, certainly a woman, but a a<br>younger woman in business where there's<br>this idea that everybody knows better<br>than you. And the older you get, the<br>more you realize no one knows anything.<br>Every one of us, we're making it up as<br>we go along. And you know it's so<br>interesting for me because at this stage<br>of my career I find myself in the rooms<br>you know with the best investors with<br>people that are doing incredible things<br>people that are in very very high level<br>positions running companies or countries<br>even and you do get to the point where<br>you go well you know what I think I'm<br>you know you're not that different from<br>me and so there is a part of you that<br>goes you you start to feel so much more<br>confidence but um and I talk about this<br>all the time. It isn't without some<br>fear. And I do think that taking risks<br>and again, it's an inherently female<br>thing sometimes to be risk adverse. And<br>we and we're like that for so many<br>reasons. But when the only reason is for<br>self-preservation, you really have to<br>start thinking about what fear is doing<br>negatively to you. And so I've spent a<br>lot of time thinking about how I can<br>park my fear and what else I can use<br>that energy for.<br>>> Oh, so good. So good, Emma. I love that.<br>And and I want to talk to you about<br>that. Let's let's dive into that. I was<br>going to save that for later, but I'll<br>dive into it seeing as you took it<br>there. I remember reading a study that<br>showed that when men see a job<br>description,<br>>> even if they can only do 40% of it,<br>they'll apply. But when women see a job<br>description, even if they can do 80% of<br>it, they won't apply. And so there's<br>this shift that definitely exists. This<br>confidence, this uh feeling of trusting<br>yourself, this feeling of, "Oh, I'm<br>worthy that comes in." Walk me through<br>that experience that you've had since<br>day one of feeling like as a woman, you<br>had to prove more. You had to work<br>harder. What What does that actually<br>look like? And what are women out there<br>I'm sure there's so many people in here<br>who want to be entrepreneurs, have<br>started something, but are seeing that.<br>How do you see it, but then live through<br>it and build an empire like you have?<br>Well, let's just be honest about some of<br>that, right? Because it isn't just about<br>women holding themselves back. The<br>barriers are real. They're really real.<br>And so, we should all recognize that.<br>Um, and it's one of the reasons that<br>I've built the companies that I have<br>with women at the helm, with women in p<br>positions of power, and with women as<br>the decision makers because we actually<br>make better decisions about who to bring<br>in the company in the first place. Um,<br>but I and it's true. It's true. you<br>know, if you have a female banker, if<br>you have a, you know, somebody investing<br>your money that's a woman, like she will<br>do better for you. The facts and the<br>figures are out there. Um, so, so I I<br>want to be honest about these things,<br>not just as what happens in our minds as<br>women, but some of them are the societal<br>barriers that truly truly exist. And I<br>know it cuz I see it every day in my own<br>company. And just to your point, you<br>know, I'll I have a role that I need a<br>Spanish or a French speaker and a man<br>will come in with very limited abilities<br>and tell me he's like a pro and<br>completely fluent. And a woman who maybe<br>just needs to brush up a bit, but she's<br>basically fluent is like, I'm not so<br>sure. Um, but again, I think that's<br>about what has been allowed for women.<br>And as soon as we start saying things<br>and doing things that are considered<br>braggadocious, getting out of our, you<br>know, space, women face an enormous<br>amount of criticism. And I get this all<br>the time. You know, I was speaking about<br>a subject and my team are like, "Don't<br>sew the subject." But I, you know, had a<br>little thing a couple of weeks ago and<br>on the same day a very very prominent uh<br>American businessman was having a very<br>very similar like Twitter attack, X<br>attack, whatever you want to call it and<br>I got so much backlash and no one said<br>anything to him. In fact, he got<br>millions and millions of likes. So the<br>standards are just very very different.<br>But instead of shying away from those<br>conversations, what I do is lean into<br>those conversations. Because the very<br>idea that you have to be demure, that<br>you have to be likable, that you have to<br>lean into a certain convention of what<br>it means to be a business, a woman in<br>business, if you if you do that and I<br>display that, I'm actually holding women<br>back. So, I've just decided like I'm not<br>playing that game anymore. I'm going to<br>do me, be me, and everyone else is going<br>to have to like it.<br>It's it's so important. It's it's so<br>important. And but what I love about<br>what you've done with that is because<br>there's one thing like when we see<br>injustice, when we see that kind of<br>treatment in the world, we all notice it<br>and we can talk about it. But then<br>you've been able to get involved, get<br>stuck in. You haven't let that hamper<br>your growth. And I think that's the<br>mindset that I'm always fascinated by.<br>We all see things happening in the world<br>that we hate, that we don't love, that<br>don't feel fair. But then we still got<br>to learn to play that game. We still got<br>to learn to win at that game. And you've<br>done that multiple times. If someone's<br>at the beginning of their journey,<br>there's people in in here who have<br>ideas, who have dreams, who have things<br>that they want to start, and they're<br>concerned about whether it's fair,<br>whether there's a meritocracy, whether<br>it's set up for making them fail or<br>succeed. What's the first thing they<br>have to build in their mind, in their<br>heart, in their resolve or externally<br>that you'd recommend they start with?<br>>> You know, the first thing I want to say<br>is that it's really important to start<br>with yourself. We can be so concerned<br>about everything that's happening around<br>us. And I think what I did pretty well<br>in early in my career was center my<br>decisions around what it is that was<br>important to me. And I never ever<br>sacrificed my ambition. I was pretty out<br>there and open and honest. And so I<br>think if you want something, you have to<br>go after it. You can't be shy about it.<br>You've got to be very, very honest and<br>open about what it is that you need and<br>what you're looking for all the time.<br>And I do think a lot of us think, you<br>know, we think a lot about what we want,<br>but we don't necessarily make it known.<br>And I speak to people about this all all<br>the time. Whatever you want and whatever<br>you're thinking about doing in your<br>life, the most important thing is to<br>focus on what you're doing and what you<br>can do right now. Be excellent in<br>whatever it is that you're doing right<br>now. You know, when I worked in a deli<br>and I made the sandwiches, I spoke to<br>you about it before. I was an amazing<br>sandwich maker in the same way that I<br>make amazing jeans now. But whatever it<br>is, I will apply myself in that way. And<br>so I do think there's this idea of um<br>what it means to be like really truly<br>excellent at something. And that's how<br>we can propel ourselves into the<br>unimaginable. That's how we get to do<br>new things. That's how people start to<br>recognize us as individuals with skills<br>outside of where we may be seen right<br>now. So that's what I try to focus on. I<br>focus on myself. And again, sounds<br>really selfish, but that's what you have<br>to be sometimes. And it's okay for a<br>period in your life as a means to an end<br>to get somewhere.<br>>> I really appreciate that mindset because<br>I feel like it's a magnetic feeling that<br>someone gives you when you see someone<br>just be really good. I I remember a few<br>months ago me and my friends were out<br>for dinner in LA and we're at this<br>restaurant and the lady who was serving<br>and taking our orders, she was just<br>amazing. Like she had the<br>recommendations down and this wasn't a<br>fancy place. This was this was a casual<br>spot on a Sunday. She knew every<br>special. She knew every little thing.<br>She had great recommendations. She had<br>great energy. And literally all three of<br>us were like, "So, what do you do? What<br>job do you want to do?" Like, literally,<br>everyone wants everyone everyone there.<br>>> You want more of that? We all want to<br>attract more of that.<br>>> Yeah. And it goes to your exact point<br>that sometimes we think, "Oh, I hate<br>what I do right now and I got to find<br>what I love." But actually, if you can<br>be excellent even at what you hate,<br>imagine how good you'll be at what you<br>love doing.<br>>> Oh, 100%. And I say it all the time<br>because, you know, I think that the<br>three most important words for career<br>acceleration is I'll do that.<br>>> I spent my whole life with my hand up<br>going, I'll do that, I'll do that, I'll<br>do that. And it's so important, you<br>know, just again, but it's about putting<br>yourself out there and not imagining<br>that you can't do something or that you<br>won't be chosen for it or that it's not<br>right for you because you're not doing<br>it yet. So sometimes that little bit of<br>vulnerability like really helps us.<br>>> 3 2 1<br>>> All right, I need it better than that. 3<br>2 1<br>>> I'll do that.<br>>> I love that. I'll do that. That's such a<br>great one. Yeah. I remember reading a<br>quote from Richard Branson when I was a<br>kid and he was always like, "If you get<br>an opportunity to do something, say yes<br>and then figure out how to do it<br>afterwards."<br>>> My whole life.<br>>> And I love Yeah. And you<br>>> That's what I'm doing now, Jay.<br>Literally. And I think people<br>underestimate that sometimes. That's the<br>pressure that actually gets you to step<br>up because if you don't have the<br>opportunity, you keep waiting for when I<br>get that chance. When I get that chance.<br>And I love I'll do that because often we<br>think, "Oh, that's not my thing. I won't<br>do that. I'm not sure about that. I<br>won't do that." I mean, you were saving<br>up to buy fashion magazines as a young<br>girl. That is true.<br>>> Like that blows my mind. Did you ever<br>think you'd be in those fashion<br>magazines or creating the fashion that<br>is in those magazines?<br>You did.<br>>> I did. I'm going to sound so arrogant,<br>but yes, I did. I really did.<br>>> I love that. Well, you know what?<br>>> I love that. Yeah, we love that energy.<br>>> But it's interesting, right? Because now<br>we call it manifestation, but I as a kid<br>really visualized the life that I<br>wanted. And I remember, you know,<br>because I grew up in the time where<br>Oprah was on the TV every single day.<br>And um, you know, she would talk about<br>the ideas of gratitude. She would talk<br>about mindfulness. She would talk about<br>manifestation. Um, I tell you what, the<br>the greatest thing that ever happened to<br>me is that I was raised in a place and<br>with a family where there honestly were<br>no limitations ever put on me. And I<br>truly believed it. I really honestly<br>believed that I could do anything so<br>long as I was willing to put the work<br>in. And so despite my education, despite<br>where I came from, despite the mountain<br>of excuses that I could have had, I<br>really truly believed if I applied<br>myself, it would work. And as you know,<br>a mother of four now, I think about that<br>every day because my kids don't have the<br>same hunger as I do. They don't want for<br>the same things that I do. But by the<br>same token, I want them and need them to<br>find their purpose and their passion and<br>what they're going to be good at. And so<br>I think again it all comes back down to<br>how you see yourself and the stories<br>that you tell yourself and how kind we<br>can be to ourselves because you've got<br>like one big relationship, one big love<br>in your life and that's you. The person<br>I hear from most is me. I wake up with<br>me in the, you know, in the morning. I<br>go to bed with me at night. I'm chatting<br>to myself the whole day. And I can<br>choose that narrative, right? I can<br>choose to be kind to myself. I can<br>choose to tell me that I can do it or I<br>can create a really really negative<br>narrative in really negative patterns.<br>And so I wake up every day and I choose<br>to tell myself that whatever it is I can<br>probably do it if I apply, if I learn,<br>if I put 100% effort in, if I surround<br>myself with the right people, all of<br>those things. And so I think it's just<br>like constantly practice who you want to<br>be. And I just feel like I'm in like a<br>forever practice of who it is I want to<br>be.<br>>> Yeah, I love that. Yeah, absolutely.<br>Give it up. It's um it's such good<br>advice and it's so true. And I feel like<br>with you, you were always certain from<br>an early age what you were passionate<br>about. Like fashion<br>>> became your whole life. Like you've been<br>obsessed with it since you were a young<br>kid. And I feel like today either it's<br>because we're exposed to too many things<br>or there's too many stories of success<br>and all this kind of stuff. I think<br>people are getting people are struggling<br>to know what they're passionate about.<br>>> And I'm sure you get this question all<br>the time, Emma, how do I find my<br>passion? How do I know what I'm<br>passionate about? Is passion even the<br>right thing to look at? What do you<br>suggest when people are like, Emma, I've<br>got all these ideas. I don't know where<br>to start. How should people pick<br>something their lane to focus on<br>becoming excellent at? Oh, you're going<br>to hate this. Don't look for your<br>passion. Like, don't don't don't don't.<br>It's so difficult because if some often<br>times the things that we love, I mean,<br>they're not always great, right?<br>I love a glass of red wine. I would have<br>had three before I came on this stage if<br>I was following my passion and what my<br>heart was telling me to do. But, um, it<br>didn't seem right for on purpose. So, I<br>think that what you have to do is find<br>what you're good at. Find what lights<br>you up. And, you know, often I think<br>about the things that give you energy<br>versus the things that take energy away.<br>You know, when I saw you backstage, I<br>was like, "Oh my goodness, you must be<br>exhausted and you must just want to go<br>straight to sleep." And you said to me,<br>"Actually, it takes me three hours to<br>get to sleep after these shows because<br>I'm so excited after." And I was like,<br>"Yeah, because you are living your<br>purpose. You are doing what gives you<br>energy. And so I think you should go<br>around and find what gives you energy<br>and what you are good at where your<br>natural skills are, you know, leaning<br>and then you figure out your purpose. I<br>don't think you can go around looking<br>for the thing that is going to, you<br>know, be, you know, you can't look<br>around trying to figure out like I am<br>going to have this big purpose cuz it's<br>so it's so rare that you ever get there.<br>And often times, you know, I don't think<br>fashion was a purpose for me. I think I<br>liked really nice things and I think I<br>needed to find a career that paid me<br>really well so I could buy those nice<br>things, right? Like it wasn't It's kind<br>of true. No, but the advice to follow<br>what you're good at is brilliant because<br>competence build confidence. And I think<br>a lot of us are trying to do it the<br>other way around. We're like, I want to<br>be confident, but you can't be confident<br>if you don't feel competent. And the<br>only time you feel competent is when you<br>do something you're really good at and<br>something you're willing to get really<br>good at. Yes.<br>>> Right. It's not like you may not be good<br>at the thing you want to be good at<br>right now, but you're more likely to<br>dedicate time to it if you think, "Oh, I<br>really want to excel at that." I think<br>one of the biggest challenges I see for<br>a lot of people is if you only focus on<br>passion, which by the way, I love your<br>advice. If you only follow your passion,<br>when things get hard, you then feel not<br>passionate about it. Whereas if you<br>follow what you're good at, you realize<br>whether things are going well or not,<br>you just got to get better.<br>>> Listen, a million%. And I love that you<br>talk about focus because I'm obsessed<br>with this idea of true focus. You know,<br>focus is a force multiplier in business.<br>It's a force multiplier in work. When<br>you figure out what you can actually<br>dedicate yourself to and give all of<br>your focus and you truly do that,<br>whether in your life, in your business,<br>in your relationships, you will find<br>unbelievable unlocks. I don't know<br>anyone who is successful, who hasn't<br>been unbelievably, unequivocally focused<br>on something and gone deep and deep and<br>deep and figured more and more things<br>out and then found an unlock. And so I<br>really think about that as something<br>that is completely opens up a new world<br>to you. And when you are willing to<br>learn and to go really deep in one<br>place, amazing things start happening.<br>Like they do. It's like it really is<br>like magic.<br>>> What distracts us from focus? Like what<br>is it that's blocking us from becoming<br>that single-minded that you reminded me<br>of one of my favorite pieces of wisdom<br>from Bruce Lee. Bruce Lee once said,<br>"I'm not scared of the person who's<br>practiced 10,000 kicks once each. I'm<br>scared of the person who's practiced one<br>kick 10,000 times."<br>>> Right? Like that's the person that's<br>scary. Like the person who's practiced<br>the same thing over and over again, that<br>laser-like focus, that's the scary<br>person. The person who's got scattered<br>attention, they're not even in the<br>competition. But why is it that we all<br>end up being those kind of people who<br>like, "Okay, I got to spend time with my<br>family. they got to figure this out. Oh,<br>I've got to do these three things over<br>here. Like, that's what we all fill our<br>life with.<br>>> Well, because I feel like we're in a<br>culture right now that tells us that you<br>have to do and be so many different<br>things. You know, when I grew up, it's<br>like you drove a van, you were a<br>carpenter, you worked in a store, you<br>were a chef. Like, do you know what I<br>mean? Like, you were a thing. And now we<br>all believe that we should be so many<br>different things. And the truth is that<br>it's so rewarding to get good at<br>something. Like I consider myself,<br>people say to me, Emma, how do you do so<br>many things? You have so many<br>businesses. It's like I do one thing<br>really, really well. I'm an excellent<br>merchant. I understand what people want<br>to buy and how much they're willing to<br>pay for it. And I do that over and over<br>and over and over again. Basta. That's<br>it. That's that's all I do. And it's<br>really important to know and to figure<br>out how you can go deep on something and<br>not spread yourself too thinly. And I<br>think this idea, you know, we as a as a<br>society, we really believe these stories<br>of like, you know, uh overnight success,<br>but it isn't true, right? It's not a<br>career plan to think like that. And if<br>I'm really really honest, I have never<br>ever worked harder in my life than I do<br>today. That's that's the honest truth.<br>It doesn't get easier when you get more<br>successful. It gets much more difficult.<br>And so I think if that's the life that<br>you're looking for and you want to do<br>great things, you've got to be willing<br>to sacrifice some other stuff and go<br>deep on one thing.<br>>> Yeah. And when you do it, it doesn't<br>feel like a sacrifice.<br>>> No, not at all.<br>>> Because it's so fulfilling.<br>>> 100%. It just might feel like, oh my<br>goodness, there were all of these<br>options that I had. But to me, it's<br>really interesting to think about where<br>your strengths are and find what you're<br>good at and go into that thing.<br>>> Yeah. I love the way you articulate your<br>strengths. I remember years ago, and I I<br>have no affiliation with this platform,<br>but it's amazing. I remember years ago,<br>I did something called StrengthFinder.<br>>> Mhm.<br>>> And it's this test that asks you all<br>these questions. It's like $50 on the<br>internet. You fill it out and it will<br>give you your top 34 strengths. Oh, wow.<br>In order.<br>>> There 34 strengths. J Sh.<br>>> Me? No. Everyone. Everyone. Everyone has<br>34 strengths. He ranks them in order.<br>>> Just Jay has 34 strengths. We all had<br>three.<br>>> No, no, no. The the model is 34<br>strengths. Everyone will get 34. I<br>promise. But it's all about your top<br>five strengths. And what's fascinating<br>to me is when I did that, and it's a<br>it's a thing you've got to take an hour<br>to do properly. Of course, the more<br>self-aware you are, the better it is.<br>>> When I looked at my top five strengths,<br>and I imagine if you looked at yours,<br>and I use this when I'm hiring, I use<br>this when I'm meeting people. I use it<br>with clients. When I look at my top five<br>strengths, I knew four of them, but I<br>didn't know the first one.<br>>> Wow. I swear on that piece of paper,<br>like I mean, sorry, on the digital PDF<br>that it sends you back,<br>>> I was like, I had no idea that that was<br>my top strength. And from that day on, I<br>leaned into that strength.<br>>> Well, well, now you got to tell us what<br>your top is. It's like, what is<br>happening?<br>>> So, so my my top five, I'll tell the<br>four first before the first one. Uh,<br>there's communications in my top five.<br>Uh,<br>>> we agree. Yeah. Uh ideation,<br>intellection. So ideation's coming up<br>with original ideas and intellections<br>having uh thoughtful, reflective<br>discussions. Um and then the fourth one,<br>ideation, intellection. What did I say?<br>Communication. And there's one more in<br>there I can't remember. And the top one,<br>number one was strategy.<br>>> Strategy.<br>>> Yeah. It was my number one skill. And I<br>never knew that. Like I wasn't conscious<br>of that. And the moment I became<br>conscious of the fact that I'm extremely<br>strategic,<br>>> it shifted my entire world.<br>>> It shifted everything. And and I and I<br>would encourage, like I said, I have no<br>affiliation with the company. I highly<br>recommend you do it because you might<br>look at those and go, "Wait a minute."<br>Like when you articulated your strength,<br>you were so clear. You're like, "This is<br>what I'm good at." And when you're able<br>to do that, it fills you with<br>confidence. It fills you with<br>competence. And all of a sudden, you<br>realize why your life's been going<br>wrong.<br>>> Yeah. Not only that, you realize what<br>you need around you because my whole<br>thing is that none of us are successful<br>alone, right? I arrived here tonight<br>with like a smuttering of people with<br>me, right? Because you don't just wake<br>up and and turn up like that. Um, sadly,<br>I don't It took a took a lot to roll me<br>out here tonight. Um, but I do think<br>it's kind of interesting because I think<br>about my own strengths. Like I have an<br>unbelievable ability to focus. Like that<br>is something that I'm very very good at.<br>I am as resilient as a person gets. Like<br>it takes a lot to get to me and I can<br>take a lot of knockbacks and I can take<br>a lot of bad news and I have a work<br>ethic like you wouldn't believe. Like<br>it's just I can work and work and go and<br>go and go and I've needed those three<br>things. But there's an enormous amount<br>of things that I'm just horrendous.<br>Like not just a little bit bad, like<br>really bad. I am super impatient. Like I<br>have no patience. And so I have to<br>surround myself with people that have<br>the things that I don't have. And I<br>think that it's again so important to<br>understand like who you are not like<br>where are your weaknesses? What are you<br>not good at? And again, we always go<br>around going, you know, what what do I<br>need? Who am I? Like me me. And it's<br>like it's so important in your life to<br>surround yourself with friends, with<br>business partners, with colleagues that<br>have all the things that you don't have.<br>And I think that that is one of the<br>reasons I've been really successful. I<br>surround myself with the right people<br>constantly.<br>It's um<br>as I'm listening to you, I'm just<br>thinking about how this self-awareness<br>principle for everyone sitting here is<br>is so powerful. And we're so told in<br>society to get better at what we're bad<br>at. And I remember and and this is real<br>for me when I became a consultant after<br>I left the monastery. Finally got a job.<br>I was lucky to get a job. I was rejected<br>by 40 companies before I got it. And<br>when I finally got that job, they were<br>telling me, "You've got to be good at<br>Excel. You've got to be good at<br>PowerPoint. You got to be good at this.<br>You got to be good at this." And it was<br>like a suite of things you had to be<br>good at. And I was like, "I do not want<br>to be good at Microsoft Excel." Like I I<br>I still want to be good.<br>>> I still don't know how to do a VLOOKUP,<br>right? For any of you geeks out there.<br>Uh<br>>> this is the wrong town to to admit that.<br>Let me tell you, they're like so fast<br>out here.<br>>> I know. They're like, "Oh, J,<br>>> bro. Seriously, we're like AI in over<br>here."<br>>> Yeah. But it's that kind of idea of like<br>you're so you're drawn you're told to<br>get good at things<br>>> that aren't your thing and you<br>constantly are wasting all this time and<br>energy. Focus. Talking about focus.<br>You've got a finite amount of focus. And<br>if you're spending it on all the things<br>you're not that great at, maybe you'll<br>get average at those.<br>>> But if you put it in the things, as Emma<br>is saying, in the things you're good at,<br>you could become phenomenal at those.<br>And that's what we need to encourage<br>people to do.<br>>> Yes. It's really true.<br>>> Yeah. Really true.<br>>> Emma, I wanted to ask you, you have uh<br>four adorable children.<br>>> Adorable.<br>>> Ador like the cutest. Like truly the<br>cutest. You post about them all the time<br>as well. You have an amazing husband as<br>well who I love. Yens like what a great<br>man. lucky girl.<br>>> Yeah. And it's and it's just beautiful<br>to see what you've been able to create.<br>And what did you say?<br>>> I said I'm a lucky girl.<br>>> Uh he's a lucky guy.<br>>> Lucky duck. I think so, too.<br>>> And And when I when I look at I was<br>wondering if if we asked your kids,<br>"What does mom do?" How would they<br>explain it?<br>>> Oh my goodness. So my um my kids like<br>this is like a big like graduation week<br>for everybody, right? So I have an<br>11year-old and eight and twins three<br>year olds. And the three-year-olds had<br>like one of those projects where it was<br>like, you know, what's your mom's name,<br>your dad's name? D. And my kid said, our<br>mom goes to work all the time. And I was<br>like,<br>you know, it's one of those things. I'm<br>like, what are you going to do? You<br>know, and and there was a part of me<br>that I was like, do I feel shame about<br>that? Am I comfortable with that? But,<br>you know, I've really made it a point to<br>tell my kids how much I love work<br>because I felt that with my first two, I<br>was constantly in some cycle of<br>apologies. I'm sorry that I'm leaving.<br>I'm sorry that I'm going to New York.<br>I'm sorry that I'll be back late<br>tonight. And what I realized is that I'd<br>created a narrative that I didn't really<br>like what I was doing. And I had this<br>conversation with my daughter as I was<br>going to New York, like, you know, a few<br>months ago. And she said, "I'm so sorry<br>you've got to go on this trip." And I<br>said, "Lo, when I go to New York, I have<br>an amazing time. I sleep diagonally. I<br>go out with my friends. I drink too much<br>wine. Like, I have the best time." And<br>she SAID TO ME, "OH, OKAY. HAVE AN<br>AMAZING TIME. I'll see you in 3 days."<br>And I thought, "Wow, I did that." So,<br>I'm working really hard to let my kids<br>know, yeah, like I'm not the mom that is<br>out every drop off. I'm not the mom that<br>is volunteering at the school. But guess<br>what? There are all of these other<br>amazing things that I do that I enjoy<br>and I'm not trying to make you guys feel<br>guilty about it. I'm not trying to play<br>a mada. These are things that I really<br>love and enjoy. And I kind of feel like<br>my kids are cool with it because they've<br>been raised like that and they know that<br>they can go after their dreams<br>unashamedly. And I feel like if we start<br>to shift that narrative with our<br>children, it will make everything so<br>much easier because nobody wants mom<br>guilt. Nobody wants any parental guilt.<br>And we all know it's there, but we don't<br>need that.<br>>> Yeah. It's, you know, I can only speak<br>about it from being a son to to a mom<br>that I love. And I I've told you this<br>before, like my mom was the breadwinner<br>of the house. She'd wake up in the<br>morning, make me and my sister lunch to<br>take with us to school, make us<br>breakfast. She'd drop us to school, go<br>to work. We'd get picked up by um a<br>nanny from school. We'd wait there for a<br>couple of hours. My mom would come back<br>from work, pick us up, make us dinner,<br>help us with our homework, and then go<br>back to work in the evening. And I<br>really believe that my work ethic is<br>because of watching my mom work.<br>>> Yes.<br>>> And here's the interesting thing. I<br>didn't have a lot of time with my mom<br>growing up, but I never felt unloved.<br>>> And I started to realize that time<br>doesn't equal love. But that's what<br>we've all convinced ourselves. We're<br>like, if I'm there for you all the time,<br>then that means I love you. And actually<br>that's not the case because if I'm there<br>all the time but I'm not happy, I'm not<br>really present, I'm on my phone, I'm<br>distracted, I'm over entertaining you,<br>you don't get time to be bored, you<br>don't get time to be disconnect, time<br>doesn't equal love. And I feel like<br>today we put a lot of pressure on<br>parents to have to be everything at home<br>and perform at work and be amazing<br>partners. When I look around, it's<br>really hard on my friends that I see<br>having that pressure to be a perfect<br>parent, a perfect professional, a<br>perfect partner, a perfect everything<br>because it wasn't like that.<br>>> But we also have to figure out where<br>does that pressure come from, right?<br>Because often times it's coming from<br>some outside source or we're putting it<br>on ourselves. And I did an exercise for<br>myself when I first had gray, so like 11<br>years ago. And I wrote down what was<br>important to me because you know what<br>there are certain non-negotiables like<br>if my kids in a play if they're you know<br>like we had a big graduation thing today<br>like I am there but I don't know that I<br>think it's important to make like<br>Instagrammable lunchboxes like that's<br>not something I need to do you know and<br>so I don't do that but you know it's<br>like it's so it's really important to<br>figure out like are these my standards<br>or are these somebody else's standards.<br>and what are my non-negotiables? And so<br>I feel like once you get there,<br>everything suddenly falls into place.<br>And that's the important thing like in<br>all parts of our life like where are my<br>standards? Where are the places that I<br>feel that I will absolutely not be happy<br>if these things are happening in my<br>life? Where are the places that I feel<br>like I would be making a sacrifice<br>versus what is everybody else thinking<br>of me? What did I see that I feel like I<br>need to be keeping up with? what do the<br>school tell me, you know, I need to do<br>because half the time if you know if you<br>can level with things in your own life<br>like you'll be okay. So I think it's<br>really important and I constantly have<br>those conversations with myself because<br>life you're you're in this constant<br>change mode hopefully, right? Like what<br>worked for my kids when they were five<br>doesn't work for them at 11. And so I<br>try to reassess constantly like how do I<br>really feel about these things? And I<br>write it down. I'm like, it's really<br>important for me to have a girls trip<br>once a year. And I do that every single<br>year without fail. Like I don't like I<br>don't negotiate. I don't like say to my<br>husband, "Oh, I can't like can't figure<br>out the dates." It's like it is<br>happening. That is one of the things<br>that makes me happy because those<br>connections, those relationships are<br>something that I find absolutely<br>precious. And so I just have a bunch of<br>things that I feel are non-negotiable in<br>my life, but they're mine. It's my list.<br>I own it. It doesn't belong to anyone<br>else. and it doesn't come from anywhere<br>else. And the rest I just say like I'm<br>not doing it.<br>>> So good. So good. Honestly, like I I<br>love the standard piece because maybe<br>someone's standard is to make<br>Instagrammable lunches. That's<br>beautiful.<br>>> Good for them. I love watching those<br>videos. I'll watch the video. I just<br>don't want to make the lunch.<br>>> And that's what's so beautiful. And<br>that's that's kind of where we're<br>struggling I feel where we're making<br>someone else's standards our standards<br>as you said and that's where everything<br>goes wrong<br>>> you know and again I want to go back to<br>a point you made earlier about this<br>women get this asked this question<br>especially as CEOs especially as<br>business builders far more<br>disproportionately than men to be honest<br>I don't think men even get asked this<br>and so when I'm asking this I'm asking<br>it self-aware and want to make that<br>point that women always get asked how<br>how do you balance it all right which<br>men don't get asked like if I'm sitting<br>with a male CEO,<br>>> no one goes, "Hey, wait a minute. How do<br>you balance it all?"<br>>> Yeah. Yo, Elon, how's the balance going<br>with your 17 kids? Like,<br>>> but<br>>> and so I ask it for that reaction,<br>right? And and and you get asked it and<br>all the rest of it. And then how have<br>you been able to<br>and and this is true for me too and I<br>think about it but you've done it with<br>you do have beautiful we were just<br>literally when I saw you this today you<br>were facetiming your daughter<br>>> and she was building a crown<br>>> she'd made a magnetile<br>>> yeah it was so happy with it so happy it<br>was beautiful and we were talking to her<br>and then and then Yen's your husband who<br>I know too and he's like having dinner<br>while you're getting ready and you're<br>chatting and it's so beautiful to see<br>right and like you're finding time for<br>all of these really important<br>relationships, even though you've been<br>so kind to come out and help me out with<br>this.<br>>> And so when I see that happening, I'm<br>like, what does it take? What does it<br>take to be the powerhouse CEO, to be a<br>present wife, to be a connected mom?<br>Like, what is that taking? And I know<br>you I know you don't believe in<br>perfection.<br>>> I don't, but what what is that what does<br>it take?<br>So, at the risk of sounding and saying<br>things that I've said a lot, I do talk<br>about the ideas of trade-offs all the<br>time. I talk about the idea of an<br>unbelievable amount of help. But I think<br>the most important thing to talk about<br>in the context of where we are today is<br>really thinking about<br>ourselves.<br>really thinking about ourselves because<br>if the standard and if people look at me<br>and think, well, you know, her hair's<br>done and the husband's nice and the kids<br>look perfect and that house is good and<br>she's running all these companies. You<br>would have missed the entire point of me<br>because what I do well is what works for<br>me.<br>That's what works for me. And I think<br>that if we think for one second that we<br>have to emulate and we have to take<br>pieces of everybody's life, like that's<br>where we start to go wrong. So for me, I<br>have nannies. I have other people that<br>do things in the house. I have like so<br>much help, but I've never had a problem<br>my whole life in asking for help. It's<br>something that I do all the time. If I<br>have a problem in my business, I call a<br>competitor. If I can't figure something<br>out, like I'm on the phone trying to<br>work it through. And that becomes a<br>pattern in your life like asking for<br>help, not comparing yourself. And so<br>what I say to not just women, to to<br>everyone who's trying to figure out how<br>to do all this stuff, is work it out for<br>yourself. Don't let the standards of<br>what you see around you impede on how<br>you feel. Because the idea that anyone's<br>got it all down is just fake. And I<br>don't. Like that's the truth. every<br>single day. If you see me here, it means<br>that my kids didn't have me at dinner<br>tonight. If you see me here right now,<br>it means that I'm giving something else<br>up. And so, my life is this series of<br>trade-offs. It is this series of I'm<br>doing one thing, but I made this<br>decision today cuz I was like, I want to<br>go to J Shetty and talk to all the<br>people, you know, and it's like, and<br>that's fine, but I don't feel bad about<br>that. I'm not going to torture myself<br>about it. But I think that we have to<br>really look into ourselves and decide<br>what's right for us and stop trying to<br>chase this idea of balance and also stop<br>lying. You know, I just stopped lying<br>about it. I started to say this is<br>really hard. I really have to make<br>difficult choices. And when I made<br>choices that were seemingly selfish or<br>about me, I stopped hiding them because<br>I thought that was doing a disservice to<br>other women. So when I'm out, I'm going<br>to say I'm out. When I'm not with my<br>kids, I'm going to say I'm not with my<br>kids. When I say I only do school drop<br>off twice a week, that's on a good week.<br>So I'm just going to stop lying and<br>everyone else can follow suit.<br>>> You're changing the game. Like you're<br>actually changing the game. And that's<br>why I was so excited. By the way, I was<br>so excited because literally just a<br>couple of weeks ago, Emma launched her<br>own podcast, Aspire with Emma Greed. And<br>I want everyone in here to go on their<br>Spotify or their Apple app or whatever<br>app you use when you leave tonight and I<br>want you to go subscribe to Aspire by<br>Emma Greed. Uh,<br>>> you're so lovely if you're not already.<br>I mean it. I mean it<br>>> because I really feel like your voice in<br>this space is so refreshing. It's so<br>revolutionary. It's totally redefining<br>what women can think about of what's<br>possible, what's expected of them,<br>what's what what's perfect, what's not,<br>what's real. And I feel like you just<br>being real and honest is genuinely<br>what's needed in this space. I don't<br>know anyone else who's doing it. And<br>it's so it's something I love about you.<br>I mean, all of you. And I admire it so<br>so deeply. I mean it.<br>>> Oh, I love you.<br>>> Thanks, Jay. I'll pay you later.<br>>> No, I mean it.<br>>> I love you. I have to tell everyone that<br>on my first day of filming, I filmed<br>with Jay and I wanted to die. I was<br>like, why are you the first person that<br>I'm filming with, you know, you were<br>because and I tell you why because this<br>is and it speaks so much to who you are.<br>You know, I thought about my dream<br>guest. I was like, who do I want to talk<br>to? And so I text Jay and I thought, you<br>know what, he'll want to see the show<br>and he'll watch a couple of episodes and<br>maybe if I'm super lucky in like six or<br>nine months, he'll come on the pod. But<br>of course, you were like, "Yeah, um,<br>when should I come?" And I was like,<br>"Oh, shit." Like, "I can't believe it."<br>So, you were the first person, which was<br>so crazy. But, you know, I'm really<br>happy to be doing this thing because<br>I've spent my entire career building<br>businesses. And after a while, you start<br>to realize that as much of a solution<br>you are, you're also part of the<br>problem, right? You're part of the<br>problem of what people look to and see<br>sometimes as unattainable. And so what I<br>wanted to do with this podcast was a<br>start telling the truth, b to really<br>talk about like what it takes because I<br>feel like there's so much toxic<br>positivity out there and it's totally<br>unhelpful for all of us. So I was like,<br>I'm going to tell the truth. I'm going<br>to, you know, be me from East London,<br>which means I really tell the truth. Um,<br>and you know, I'm going to get the<br>people that I have worked so hard to get<br>to know because they will come on and<br>they will speak to me in a way that<br>perhaps they wouldn't to somebody else.<br>And it's been amazing because I really<br>look at, you know, we're all in some way<br>trying to build the life of our dreams.<br>We're all trying to live out this idea<br>of what we find aspiring, but it's<br>different for different people and we<br>all have different opportunities. And<br>the more I would go around this country,<br>I'd get constantly stopped by people<br>that would say to me, "I've got two kids<br>and I'm like 35 and I just want to<br>change and could you give me some<br>advice?" And I thought, wouldn't it be<br>amazing if you could figure out how you<br>could scale mentorship? And so for me,<br>the idea was just that simple. just have<br>conversations, be really honest, talk to<br>the people that I aspire to the most,<br>and give people the tools so that they<br>can make and build the life of their<br>dreams. And it's honestly been like the<br>biggest privilege because I feel like<br>when you come at something with a really<br>good intention, like unbelievable things<br>happen. And it's only been I don't know,<br>it's been like a a couple of months of<br>filming, but I feel like it's been<br>pretty magical. And people are doing<br>exactly that. They're coming there.<br>They're telling the truth. And it's<br>actually helping people.<br>>> What more do you need?<br>>> I love it.<br>>> I love it. All right. Actually, I want<br>to take you up on that. I want to take<br>you up on that, Emma. I'm going to give<br>someone a really special opportunity<br>today. And therefore, I want you to<br>really honor it. If you raise your hand,<br>I want it to be because you have<br>something really valuable and something<br>really thought through and something<br>really<br>mature in your idea because I believe<br>it's such a special opportunity.<br>Tonight's been all about doing things,<br>not caring about what people think to<br>take your moment to make sure that you<br>don't miss out to say I'll do that as<br>Emma taught us earlier. I want to give<br>someone the opportunity in a moment to<br>come up here and have 60 seconds to<br>elevator pitch their idea to the one and<br>only Emma Green.<br>>> So if anyone has a business idea, a<br>dream for a business idea, a company,<br>AI, whatever it is, I want you to raise<br>your hand. I'm taking a look around.<br>Raise your hand. Raise your hand. I'm<br>seeing a lot of people. This is great.<br>I'm looking up there up the top. I see<br>the light as well. I see the light as<br>well. Let me go. Let me go do it. I'm<br>going to come out and talk to<br>>> Oh my god. He's a Roman reporter.<br>>> That's it. Say I'm going to get out in<br>the audience.<br>>> Give it up for K, everyone.<br>>> Well done. I love it. It's so nice to<br>meet you.<br>>> Hello.<br>>> Congratulations. Well done for standing.<br>I chose you cuz you stood up.<br>>> I'm very excited.<br>>> Kate, I'm going to ask you to come over<br>here on our spot.<br>This is for you. Thank you.<br>>> We're going to give you 60 seconds to<br>share your elevator pitch to the one and<br>only Emma Reed and the audience of<br>course.<br>>> Hello.<br>>> My name is Kate Wood. I'm from Reading,<br>California. Um in 2020, I had twins as<br>well.<br>>> About um eight months later, I opened my<br>first restaurant. Uh about 6 weeks ago,<br>I opened my second restaurant. But I've<br>always had this I've always had this<br>dream to have a YouTube show and take it<br>to the Food Network. My dream is to<br>start a show called Stage and where you<br>can either take celebrities or other<br>people um influencers and each season<br>would be that person and you put them in<br>different spaces for an episode. So each<br>episode would have an adventure<br>challenge. It would have like a high-end<br>challenge and it would also have<br>something really like heartwarming all<br>in the food industry. We expose you can<br>expose meat packaging places. You could<br>go into prisons, you could go to<br>high-end uh Michelin star restaurants,<br>but each episode that celebrity or that<br>person would be a stage and you'd have<br>to take on those challenges. You'd have<br>to step into that risk. You would have<br>to expose different parts of this<br>industry. And it's sort of this meeting<br>between Triple D and uh Dirty Jobs, but<br>all in the food industry because it's<br>such a huge industry that I love so much<br>and it takes so much every day for us to<br>make this happen and we all just love<br>creating food and feeding people. And so<br>I just thought it'd be a really lovely<br>TV show idea and I would have to take<br>that first step to be a stage. And so<br>that's my idea. Anyway,<br>>> good for K everyone.<br>>> Thank you.<br>>> That's amazing.<br>>> Emma, over to you. Insight, advice.<br>>> Here we go. Ready? Advice. So, the first<br>thing I want to say is I love that you<br>stood because you were the first person<br>that I saw and that's why I was like,<br>I'm going for you there because you just<br>stood up. So, the idea that you would<br>even put yourself out there in that way<br>is a really big and important first<br>step. Also, on restaurant number two,<br>congratulations to you. That's like<br>insane. Insane. It really is. I think<br>the beauty about the media climate and<br>where we are right now is that you can<br>do things in a really big shiny Netflix<br>big budget beautiful way or you can<br>scale ideas down and you can test into<br>them. And I think that one of the most<br>amazing things that I've seen really<br>really work in my career is when we've<br>taken things that we thought could had<br>potential to be really big and really<br>global and we've tested them on smaller<br>platforms like figuring something out on<br>YouTube or figuring out like an<br>Instagram version of what you're trying<br>to do. Your idea is to take something,<br>you know, like a whole industry and to<br>go into somewhere, you know, like the<br>prisons that you mentioned or whatever<br>it might be. But why would you not test<br>that instead of with an influencer with<br>one of your friends in a more localized<br>situation and figure out how it works?<br>Because there's some beauty to this idea<br>of test and learn. One of the things<br>that I 1,000% know as an entrepreneur is<br>that you've just got to start. Like if<br>you have figured it all out and you've<br>written a big presentation and you're<br>waiting for the one magical day that<br>you're going to, you know, meet Ted<br>Sarandos and pitch it to Netflix, like<br>that day might never come. But you could<br>get out of the starting block and just<br>try something. And then the beauty of<br>that is that you get to test and learn<br>and you fail and you iterate and you<br>start again. So I would take this idea<br>that you've got and extrapolate the best<br>pieces of it and try it in some really<br>little small way. Whatever you can do it<br>tomorrow. Tomorrow.<br>>> Give it up for everyone.<br>>> Thank you so much.<br>>> Thanks for doing my love. You're<br>awesome. It's very nice to meet you.<br>>> At your restaurant,<br>>> give it up for K, everyone.<br>>> I can't believe we did that.<br>>> What's that?<br>>> I can't believe we did that.<br>>> I know. So much fun. It's like that it's<br>what you said like someone saying, "I'll<br>do that, raising a hand." Kate's<br>courage. Uh, and and also just having a<br>great idea, having a great thought, and<br>and that advice you gave was spot on. I<br>I love the advice you gave. I think it's<br>so valuable to hear that. I I It's<br>interesting you said that. When I first<br>wanted this show to exist, I actually<br>started on purpose because I pitched a<br>TV show that got rejected.<br>>> No.<br>>> Seven years ago.<br>>> No.<br>>> Yeah. I had a TV show idea. I actually<br>had the opportunity to pitch at Netflix<br>and pitch at ABC and pitch at MTV was<br>still around then. And<br>>> did they turn you down?<br>>> And I got rejected. They rejected my TV<br>show idea.<br>>> Oh, they must be<br>>> and so I started a podcast.<br>>> Yes.<br>>> And so, you know, like just just hearing<br>that like gave me goosebumps because<br>that was exactly what happened to me.<br>>> Emma, you have been phenomenal tonight.<br>You are truly one of my favorite people<br>in the world. Uh, everyone make sure you<br>go and subscribe to Aspire with Emma<br>Greed, Apple, Spotify, YouTube, all the<br>platforms. Follow Emma on Instagram if<br>you don't already. Give it up for Emma<br>Greed.<br>>> Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You're<br>the best. I love you.<br>>> Thank you so much for listening to this<br>conversation. If you enjoyed it, you'll<br>love my chat with Adam Grant on why<br>discomfort is the key to growth and the<br>strategies for unlocking your hidden<br>potential. If you know you want to be<br>more and achieve more this year, go<br>check it out right now.<br>>> You set a goal today. You achieve it in<br>six months and then by the time it<br>happens it's almost a relief. There's no<br>sense of meaning and purpose.